we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
