good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
