I met the friendliest cop last night
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
