yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
