A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
