I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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