Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
