if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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