Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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