So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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