Kiss
Puke
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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