What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
