Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
