The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You work out of a Hotel?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize