I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
They took my balls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
