I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
