All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
