there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
