There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
