Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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