like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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