So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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