Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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