he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
