man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
