please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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