K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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