His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
