if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
