he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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