we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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