I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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