Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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