Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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