dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
