I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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