Don't you send me to vm
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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