When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
