Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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