pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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