Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
