So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
