eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
