i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
