Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
