david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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