I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
