Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
