Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
