Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize