A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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